October 4th, 2005 I got divorced. It wasn't a messy or drawn out event; we talked about everything in private, waited together on the bench outside the courtroom and went to the judge with our own notarized agreement, in and out. I'm glad we got divorced; if we had stayed married, we'd hate each other by now... we're buds though :)
It was easy and sad to be getting divorced. I walked back to work, hid in the bathroom with Steve and cried a while; it was hard to see my ex-husband walk away looking defeated with his head dropped like that.
Six years later, almost to the day I find myself in the very same courthouse with Steve standing across the courtroom. We're not getting divorced because we were never married but today marks a legal end to our relationship. It's been a long time since I had to stand in a courtroom and it's been a long 15 months leading up to this day. This is the way it needs to be, this is the way I want it to be; but there is still a bit of sadness about it all.
I sat in my car for a while after leaving the courthouse this morning and saw Steve in my mirror with that same walk, head dropped, bright white papers in-hand; I couldn't help but sit in my car on this dreary, drizzling day and cry alone for a while.
